Month: July 2018

How to stop being insecure about your looks?
“My nose is not right or my thighs are too huge or my face is too chubby”, we have said these words to ourselves at least once in our life, wishing to ‘perfect’ our appearance.

As science has developed, people have an option to undergo various procedures to straighten out the perceived ‘imperfections’, even if it is dangerous. However, since it is not an affordable or a viable option for many of us, we often live our lives loathing certain parts of ourselves, leading to critical issues like low self-esteem, high insecurity and also mental health problems like depression or eating disorders. Read onto find out how to stop being insecure about your looks.

What is self-love?

For the last few years, we have seen celebrities endorsing ‘self-love’ breaking their mask of ‘perfection’ and showing their insecurities, and how they learned to love themselves. This marked the beginning of an era which challenged the strict dogmas of ‘perfection’.

Self-love is simple and easy to apply, once you start understanding and accepting yourself. You have to love yourself with all your so-called ‘imperfections’ and ignore those who are trying to putting you down on the basis of your appearance.

The cost we pay for our insecurities comes at a high price. Rather than letting them eat away at your happiness, there is a far easier and penniless solution.

How to love yourself?

While the principle may seem very easy, it can be slightly challenging to look at yourself and love yourself to a point that you wouldn’t want to change anything about yourself. It will also be difficult to be consistently confident about your self even in the face of criticism. But, these things can be tackled over a period of time and if you follow these steps, it can help you understand some basic tips on truly loving yourself.

Here are some techniques to stop being insecure
- The first step is to acknowledge that you are unique. Aspects of yourself that makes you stand out, should be embraced. If it doesn’t with the society’s standards of beauty, then focus on that aspect and love that aspect the most, because of its uniqueness.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Each one of us is different, in looks, talents, and personalities, thus we’re bound to have differences. The sooner we learn to accept them, the easier it will be for us to love ourselves.
- Take a break from social media. Before envying someone, remember that we only post things on social media that we are sure to get appreciated for, it doesn’t mean that people’s lives are actually that perfect. So, instead of being obsessed with social media, taking a break from it can have positive effects on your self-esteem.
- Be optimistic and think positively. Positive thoughts about yourself can not only make you happy but also keep you healthy.
- Find satisfaction within yourself. Learn to find happiness with what and who you are. Set goals to take care of your body and prioritize yourself. If you want to work on yourself, then do that with a positive motivation instead of being critical of yourself.
Being insecure due to our appearance is highly common due to so many different standards of beauty in this world, but certain basic tips and thoughts can help you deal with that insecurity in a healthy manner.

If you want to read more on achieving happiness click this link.
July 24, 2018

body shaming, confidence, insecurities, life, men, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-love, women
How to stop being insecure about your appearance?
“My nose is not right or my thighs are too huge or my face is too chubby”, we have said these words to ourselves at least once in our life, wishing to ‘perfect’ our appearance.

As science has developed, people have an option to undergo various procedures to straighten out the perceived ‘imperfections’, even if it is dangerous. However, since it is not an affordable or a viable option for many of us, we often live our lives loathing certain parts of ourselves, leading to critical issues like low self-esteem, high insecurity and also mental health problems like depression or eating disorders.

What is self-love?

For the last few years, we have seen celebrities endorsing ‘self-love’ breaking their mask of ‘perfection’ and showing their insecurities, and how they learned to love themselves. This marked the beginning of an era which challenged the strict dogmas of ‘perfection’.

Self-love is simple and easy to apply, once you start understanding and accepting yourself. You have to love yourself with all your so-called ‘imperfections’ and ignore those who are trying to putting you down on the basis of your appearance.

The cost we pay for our insecurities comes at a high price. Rather than letting them eat away at your happiness, there is a far easier and penniless solution.

How to love yourself?

While the principle may seem very easy, it can be slightly challenging to look at yourself and love yourself to a point that you wouldn’t want to change anything about yourself. It will also be difficult to be consistently confident about your self even in the face of criticism. But, these things can be tackled over a period of time and if you follow these steps, it can help you understand some basic tips on truly loving yourself.

Here are some techniques to stop being insecure
- The first step is to acknowledge that you are unique. Aspects of yourself that makes you stand out, should be embraced. If it doesn’t with the society’s standards of beauty, then focus on that aspect and love that aspect the most, because of its uniqueness.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Each one of us is different, in looks, talents, and personalities, thus we’re bound to have differences. The sooner we learn to accept them, the easier it will be for us to love ourselves.
- Take a break from social media. Before envying someone, remember that we only post things on social media that we are sure to get appreciated for, it doesn’t mean that people’s lives are actually that perfect. So, instead of being obsessed with social media, taking a break from it can have positive effects on your self-esteem.
- Be optimistic and think positively. Positive thoughts about yourself can not only make you happy but also keep you healthy.
- Find satisfaction within yourself. Learn to find happiness with what and who you are. Set goals to take care of your body and prioritize yourself. If you want to work on yourself, then do that with a positive motivation instead of being critical of yourself.
Being insecure due to our appearance is highly common due to so many different standards of beauty in this world, but certain basic tips and thoughts can help you deal with that insecurity in a healthy manner.
July 24, 2018

body shaming, confidence, insecurities, life, men, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-love, women
Top 10 inspiring quotes on success

1- “If you don’t value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents. Value what you know and start charging for it.” -Kim Garst

2- “The successful warrior is the average man with laser-like focus.” -Bruce Lee

3- “An important attribute of success is to be yourself. never Hide what makes you, you.” -Indra Nooyi

4- “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” -Mark twain

5- “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.” -Vince Lombardi

6- “If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” -Jim Rohn

7- “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney

8- “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” -Arthur Ashe

9- “I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” -Thomas Jefferson

10- “There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.” -Ray Goforth

July 23, 2018

best quotes, inspiring, motivation, Quotes, success, top quotes
Top 10 quotes on success

1- “If you don’t value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents. Value what you know and start charging for it.” -Kim Garst

2- “The successful warrior is the average man with laser-like focus.” -Bruce Lee

3- “An important attribute of success is to be yourself. never Hide what makes you, you.” -Indra Nooyi

4- “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” -Mark twain

5- “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.” -Vince Lombardi

6- “If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” -Jim Rohn

7- “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney

8- “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” -Arthur Ashe

9- “I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” -Thomas Jefferson

10- “There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.” -Ray Goforth

July 23, 2018

best quotes, inspiring, motivation, Quotes, success, top quotes
How to be independent and love yourself?

A few months back, as I heard my aunt read the Sleeping Beauty to my young cousin, a realization dawned on me. While my cousin was fascinated by the ending, I was just short of being mortified. I soon realised that this knight in shining armour kept showing up, (in different avatars and forms, sure) to help the distressed protagonist. The subtext seemed to be that life cannot improve without this knight. This brings the question of how to be independent and love yourself?

Most of us also, go around in life looking for this knight in shining armour. We wait for this person– be it a lover, a friend, a manager, whoever it may be, to come and save us from our lives. We conclude that we have exhausted all possible options and it is only when this person arrives now, that everything will fix itself magically; because magic exists, and because the good will always be victorious in the end, and that karma does come into play somewhere. One can’t even blame people for this notion and way of thinking – after all, movies and fictions are built on this notion.

People just get so comfortable in their own inertia that they require someone else to come to jolt them back to life. They fear the risk and vulnerability. They wish to put no efforts and yet emerge victoriously. They wish to believe that they can conquer the world, without any hard work (because apparently, that’s how a genius lives). They wait for a sign, to tell them that it will be alright and that it will all figure itself out. These beliefs are all not unjustified. We all need something to believe in, and the power of belief is immense. But, this belief needs its other companions for it to succeed.

The universe will just not help you if you can’t help yourself. If you were doing everything you could do, you would be where you want to be. There is always a way out, a possible solution; you just haven’t found it yet. There is no one, literally no one who can help you except for you, yourself. You are your own Super(wo)man; you are your own knight in shining armour. The initiative, diligent and hard work, a positive outlook and a sensible mind are all important elements in turning a belief into reality.

But, why am I the only one who needs to do so much, you ask? Everyone struggles and everyone fights. Not all battles are visible to the others and the greatest battles are often fought inside.

The world, as much as it seems like, is not the Hunger Games Stadium. There is not just one victor. Everyone has their own battles and everyone has their own Everest to conquer. All we can do is diligently fight our own battles and help others when we can.

So, march ahead Brave warrior. The world awaits you.

July 19, 2018

battles, fighting, fights, knight, life, sleeping beauty, strength, strong, struggles, warrior, women, working hard
Be your own knight in shining armour

A few months back, as I heard my aunt read the Sleeping Beauty to my young cousin, a realization dawned on me. While my cousin was fascinated by the ending, I was just short of being mortified. I soon realised that this knight in shining armour kept showing up, (in different avatars and forms, sure) to help the distressed protagonist. The subtext seemed to be that life cannot improve without this knight.

Most of us also, go around in life looking for this knight in shining armour. We wait for this person– be it a lover, a friend, a manager, whoever it may be, to come and save us from our lives. We conclude that we have exhausted all possible options and it is only when this person arrives now, that everything will fix itself magically; because magic exists, and because the good will always be victorious in the end, and that karma does come into play somewhere. One can’t even blame people for this notion and way of thinking – after all, movies and fictions are built on this notion.

People just get so comfortable in their own inertia that they require someone else to come to jolt them back to life. They fear the risk and the vulnerability. They wish to put no efforts and yet emerge victoriously. They wish to believe that they can conquer the world, without any hard work (because apparently, that’s how a genius lives). They wait for a sign, to tell them that it will be alright and that it will all figure itself out. These beliefs are all not unjustified. We all need something to believe in, and the power of belief is immense. But, this belief needs its other companions for it to succeed.

The universe will just not help you if you can’t help yourself. If you were doing everything you could do, you would be where you want to be. There is always a way out, a possible solution; you just haven’t found it yet. There is no one, literally no one who can help you except for you, yourself. You are your own Super(wo)man; you are your own knight in shining armour. The initiative, diligent and hard work, a positive outlook and a sensible mind are all important elements in turning a belief into reality.

But, why am I the only one who needs to do so much, you ask? Everyone struggles and everyone fights. Not all battles are visible to the others and the greatest battles are often fought inside.

The world, as much as it seems like, is not the Hunger Games Stadium. There is not just one victor. Everyone has their own battles and everyone has their own Everest to conquer. All we can do is diligently fight our own battles and help the others when we can.

So, march ahead Brave warrior. The world awaits you.

July 19, 2018

battles, fighting, fights, knight, life, sleeping beauty, strength, strong, struggles, warrior, women, working hard
How To Improve Your Decision Making Skills

Did you ever make a choice that you regret now? Are you wondering how to make future choices with minimum regrets? Then read on to know more about becoming good at decision making.

Before we understand how to make good decisions, we need to understand why confusion occurs in the first place while decision making.

Some of the reasons why one gets confused while taking decisions:

Unclear thoughts

There are so many thoughts that go through our head every second. We aren’t even aware of some of these thoughts.

Some of these thoughts never completely materialize no matter how important they are to us. Sometimes we don’t let a thought completely form in our mind, the thoughts become unclear to us and hence leads to confusion while making a decision.

Dilemmas

Each choice has its own pros and cons. We face a dilemma because we need to accept the cons of one choice and let go of the pros of the other choice. This will always be difficult and hence we stall the decision-making process.

Head vs heart

Sometimes, our emotions point us in one direction and our rational thinking points us in the other direction. In other words, our desires influence us to lean towards one choice and our rationality favors a different choice. This leads to a large amount of confusion and struggle, especially when you are not clear about your priorities.

We don’t give importance to our thoughts

While making a decision, every single reason and thoughts we have regarding the decision is important. But given the plethora of information we have and out of a fear of what others may think, we sometimes don’t listen to our inner voice and then we feel uncomfortable with a decision that we make.

The most common advice we hear and how to actually use it?

When we are confused and seek other’s help, most people use the following phrases “It’s up to you to decide which way you want to go” or “That totally depends on you”, or “You should decide which one you want”.

It brings us right back to the starting point of the whole decision-making process. But somewhere, there is a fundamental truth in that advice that we often overlook.

The key is to start looking within yourself, your emotions, your goals, and your thought process. Once, you understand that you can begin making decisions that will have a positive impact on your life.

How to improve your decision-making skills?

So now that we know why we get confused while making decisions and how to use the advice that we get. We can look at some strategies to improve our decision-making skills.

1- Accept the confusion

First, accept that you are not sure about what to choose or what you want. It will push you to search for more defined answers about the choices and about yourself.

2- Focus on the aspect of certainty

Every choice has some uncertainty associated with it. So, don’t worry about the uncertainty and focus on what you know for sure, regarding the decision. Focusing on the uncertainty will only hold us back and keep us worried.

3- Listen to the response of your body

Think of each choice and just observe how your body responds to each of the choices. Do you feel a pit in your stomach when you think of a certain choice, or does your breathing rate rise due to excitement?

Positive intuitions and vibes manifest in the following way – breathing becomes easy, chest and shoulders are relaxed, the gut is calm, feels safe, and energized

Negative intuitions and vibes manifest in the following way – Sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, shoulder muscles tighten, sense of darkness, pressurized, agitation, feeling drained.

4- Get creative

We may be limiting ourselves to choice A and choice B. We think we have no other choice other than these. But we tend to forget that we can create a choice C that has the good parts of both the choices.

5- Take a small step in one direction

Take a small step in one direction and evaluate your thoughts on the developments. Your state of mind could change after acting on one of the choices. Your thoughts may be clearer and the new developments will make it apparent which choice you actually prefer.

Finally, you have to remember that every confusion is a challenge thrown at you to better define yourself. Most of our confusion is not between the choices, it’s between the different people we could be while making those choices.

Give importance to every small desire that your inner self-tells you. You can never be sure that a choice is going to be perfectly right for you in every way. But make the choice after putting your best effort to understand yourself and your choices. After all according to the famous Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard – “Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards.”

Making a choice isn’t easy, but choosing what works for you and makes you happy will minimize the chances of regretting your decisions.

July 17, 2018

choices, confusion, decision, decision making, decision making skills, making choices, problem solving, skills
How to be strong and increase self-love?

It is a general predicament of our times that we are never satisfied. There is a constant need to want better, be better and do better. Now, there is nothing wrong with such a drive. After all, ambition is the fuel of Life. However, in our ambitious pursuits, somewhere, we refuse to accept ourselves. Hence, it is important now more than ever to understand how to be strong and increase self-love.

We see a certain movie star, a role model or even a friend we admire and then try to imitate them. This is all well, but in the process, we lose ourselves. We refuse to stop for a second and ask if that really is who we are. For instance, if I want to be a great fiction writer like J K Rowling, I may try to replicate her way of writing, her comic sense or the general way in which she conducts herself. This isn’t a sound strategy, because, even if I do succeed in this way, it wouldn’t resonate who I am.

You cannot be happy in life until you are yourself. This is not a new concept. We have a lot of people, in movies and in real life, who achieve greatness but express how they just don’t recognise themselves anymore. It’s no good if you have to give yourself up completely to achieve something.

Each one of us is unique in our own ways. We have our own special way of doing things and dealing with things. Why give that up? I agree it’s intimidating. The world is designed in a way that society expects everyone to be the same. But, this same society also celebrates those who can think out of the box. That’s the thing about society. It’s a bunch of people, who try to align to a set pattern that has been set by no one. It’s a strange concept, really. This idea of trying to ‘fit in’ needs to go away. We need to stop shrouding our greatness and ourselves just because we think ‘the society’ expects something else.

Is it going to be easy? Well, of course not. You will first realise that you just don’t know yourself at all. Take the time to get to know yourself. Talk to yourself, probably date yourself. You will realise so much more about yourself. Accept it all – both the positives and the negatives, both the strengths and the weaknesses.

By no means is this a suggestion that you shouldn’t try to improve yourself. If you believe that something about you needs to be changed, then you can do so. Human nature is not static, it’s dynamic and depends on our own choice. But, you need to know yourself in order to improve on it. Just remember that you need to be clear on your motivations for it.

If you are familiar with the Alcoholics Anonymous Programme, the first and the most important step is the acceptance of the fact that you are an alcoholic. I think that is true for everything in life. You first need to accept yourself for who you are. Only then, you can work to improve yourself. You need to know yourself to be a better self.

So, go ahead. Introspect, meditate and live life more mindfully. Say “Yes, I am, who I am and I will work every day towards becoming a better version of myself.”

July 15, 2018

confidence, jk rowling, life, originality, personality, personality development, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-love, unique, yourself
Say Yes, I Am.

It is a general predicament of our times that we are never satisfied. There is a constant need to want better, be better and do better. Now, there is nothing wrong with such a drive. After all, ambition is the fuel of Life. However, in our ambitious pursuits, somewhere, we refuse to accept ourselves.

We see a certain movie star, a role model or even a friend we admire and then try to imitate them. This is all well, but in the process, we lose ourselves. We refuse to stop for a second and ask if that really is who we are. For instance, if I want to be a great fiction writer like J K Rowling, I may try to replicate her way of writing, her comic sense or the general way in which she conducts herself. This isn’t a sound strategy, because, even if I do succeed in this way, it wouldn’t resonate who I am.

You cannot be happy in life until you are yourself. This is a not a new concept. We have a lot of people, in movies and in real life, who achieve greatness but express how they just don’t recognise themselves anymore. It’s no good if you have to give yourself up completely to achieve something.

Each one of us is unique in our own ways. We have our own special way of doing things and dealing with things. Why give that up? I agree it’s intimidating. The world is designed in a way that society expects everyone to be the same. But, this same society also celebrates those who can think out of the box. That’s the thing about society. It’s a bunch of people, who try to align to a set pattern that has been set by no one. It’s a strange concept, really. This idea of trying to ‘fit in’ needs to go away. We need to stop shrouding our greatness and ourselves just because we think ‘the society’ expects something else.

Is it going to be easy? Well, of course not. You will first realise that you just don’t know yourself at all. Take the time to get to know yourself. Talk to yourself, probably date yourself. You will realise so much more about yourself. Accept it all – both the positives and the negatives, both the strengths and the weaknesses.

By no means is this a suggestion that you shouldn’t try to improve yourself. If you believe that something about you needs to be changed, then you can do so. Human nature is not static, it’s dynamic and depends on our own choice. But, you need to know yourself in order to improve on it. Just remember that you need to be clear on your motivations for it.

If you are familiar with the Alcoholics Anonymous Programme, the first and the most important step is the acceptance of the fact that you are an alcoholic. I think that is true for everything in life. You first need to accept yourself for who you are. Only then, you can work to improve yourself. You need to know yourself to be a better self.

So, go ahead. Introspect, meditate and live life more mindfully. Say “Yes, I am, who I am and I will work every day towards becoming a better version of myself.”

July 15, 2018

confidence, jk rowling, life, originality, personality, personality development, self-confidence, self-esteem, unique, yourself
A surprising problem in relationships
In this ultra-social era, we are constantly talking about others and ourselves without thinking twice about its consequences. This oversharing of information and preoccupation with others leads to conflicts, bitterness and often a disintegration of relationships. Amidst a huge amount of facts and details on relationships, there is a surprising problem in relationships and astonishingly no one actually talks about it.

So today we are going to explore a surprising problem in relationships, i.e. how talking ‘about others’ and talking ‘about us’ can lead to problems in a relationship.

“I think for any relationship to be successful, there needs to be loving communication, appreciation, and understanding.” -Miranda Kerr

Talking about others

The surface of most relationships starts cracking when the talk between the two partners starts to centre on ‘others’, rather than themselves.

We’re social beings, living in an ultra-social era as stated before. Hence it is very natural that, while conversing, two people would brush upon the lives of other people. That other person might be/ might not be in good books of the couple. Perhaps, he/she might be in good books of one partner, and not so liked by the other partner. Eventually, yet unintentionally the couple ends up making the ‘other’ person the sole topic of their conversation for a long time. Their often contrasting views on her/him then become the cause of discord and disagreements between them.

Try to think of the recent conversation you had with your loved one, and think about how much time you let slip by, talking about another person.

As talks between the two partners shift from being focused on them to ‘others’ who are often insignificant in their lives, their bonds start to wear off. Worse, the slight disagreements on the ‘other’ people lead to heated arguments. Thus, begins the process of disintegration of a healthy relationship.

Talking about each other

A successful relationship is not the one where there are zero fights or 100 agreements. It is the one wherein there are fights, disagreements, arguments, and every single thing that may seem like a head-long war to the inexperienced eye. But here lies the catch, these frequent (or not so frequent) banters occur NOT with the motive to put one’s partner down, or to prove him/her wrong. They occur so as to reach a healthy conclusion. As said earlier, it isn’t a pre-requisite that two partners in love need to have everything in common, even the disagreements and differences of opinions are a sign of love!

Such arguments should not provoke you to go outside and chat with your colleagues/friends about bickering with your spouse/partner. AVOID GOSSIPING about your partner. It is a very common habit to discuss our relationships with our friends or whosoever we hold close to our hearts. Seldom have we realized these seemingly trivial chats with our mates, is another way where cracks start developing in a smooth-going relationship.

It is high time that we stop talking about our respective partners in a negative manner. You can talk about your partner or discuss your relationship, but it should be done in a manner that is respectful to your partner and your relationship.

Here comes the redeeming ray of hope: WHAT TO DO?

As for the first issue, the solution is just a simple technique.

Stop talking about others and start talking about yourselves (In your relationship)

Be it a marital relationship or any other kind of relationship, it is immensely crucial that the two people find time to actually talk to one another about themselves. Regardless of how long two people have been together, they could never say that they fully know each other. Knowing a person takes a lifetime, and at times even that may not suffice.

“Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.” -Wayne Dyer

These are some simple things you can start doing:
- Start talking about each other- your dreams, thoughts and so on.
- Take a decision to be completely honest and open with each other
- Discover newer likes and dislikes of your partner’s as well as your own
- Find parallels between their aspirations and your priorities
- Dig out each other’s deepest fears, insecurities, and secrets
- Seek apologies for your shortcomings and forgiving them for theirs
- Most importantly, look into their eyes and drown for some time in the depths of love they bear for you (Enjoy the silence).
As for the second one, the strategy is again a simple one, but tough to adhere to.

Stop talking about each other and start talking to each other

Yes, it sounds pretty similar to the one mentioned above, and in many ways it really is, yet it is much more complex to apply. Talking about your respective partner to an outsider won’t help you or your existing relationship. It might provide you with temporary respite, but the real problem would still exist. Moreover, the third person would be able to view the situation just from your perspective and thus may provide you with a biased opinion. Applying that incomplete and often inappropriate formula to your relationship would only enhance the damage.

“People must be taken as they are, and we should never try making them or ourselves better by quarrelling with them.” – Edmund Burke

Some simple things you can start doing:
- Do not taunt your partner in a demeaning manner, about their ways, habits, views etc.
- Try to understand and accept their ways and habits. If you start looking at them in a critical manner, you would find hundreds of things that you can change about them, so change your perspective.
- Spend time with each other. If there are things you really want to be changed, it can be done with mutual discussions.
- Instead of talking to the outside world about your relationship problems, try talking to your partner itself. Talking with them would definitely sort most (if not all) matters.
- Try to reflect on what you feel and think about your partner, if you feel deep down that you can work out your problems, despite your differences, then try to do that.
- Most importantly, assess your views on them. It is very much possible that you may hold some untrue notions or ideas about your partner, which can easily be rectified upon being checked.
So, try to use these techniques in your own relationship to ensure that it doesn’t get rattled by such issues.
July 13, 2018

fights, healthy relationship, how to solve, latest, life, long distance, new, problems, Relationship, solving fights, trending