How to be independent and love yourself?

A few months back, as I heard my aunt read the Sleeping Beauty to my young cousin, a realization dawned on me. While my cousin was fascinated by the ending, I was just short of being mortified. I soon realised that this knight in shining armour kept showing up, (in different avatars and forms, sure) to help the distressed protagonist. The subtext seemed to be that life cannot improve without this knight. This brings the question of how to be independent and love yourself?

Most of us also, go around in life looking for this knight in shining armour. We wait for this person– be it a lover, a friend, a manager, whoever it may be, to come and save us from our lives. We conclude that we have exhausted all possible options and it is only when this person arrives now, that everything will fix itself magically; because magic exists, and because the good will always be victorious in the end, and that karma does come into play somewhere. One can’t even blame people for this notion and way of thinking – after all, movies and fictions are built on this notion.

People just get so comfortable in their own inertia that they require someone else to come to jolt them back to life. They fear the risk and vulnerability. They wish to put no efforts and yet emerge victoriously. They wish to believe that they can conquer the world, without any hard work (because apparently, that’s how a genius lives). They wait for a sign, to tell them that it will be alright and that it will all figure itself out. These beliefs are all not unjustified. We all need something to believe in, and the power of belief is immense. But, this belief needs its other companions for it to succeed.

The universe will just not help you if you can’t help yourself. If you were doing everything you could do, you would be where you want to be. There is always a way out, a possible solution; you just haven’t found it yet. There is no one, literally no one who can help you except for you, yourself. You are your own Super(wo)man;  you are your own knight in shining armour. The initiative, diligent and hard work, a positive outlook and a sensible mind are all important elements in turning a belief into reality.

But, why am I the only one who needs to do so much, you ask? Everyone struggles and everyone fights. Not all battles are visible to the others and the greatest battles are often fought inside.

The world, as much as it seems like, is not the Hunger Games Stadium. There is not just one victor. Everyone has their own battles and everyone has their own Everest to conquer. All we can do is diligently fight our own battles and help others when we can.

So, march ahead Brave warrior. The world awaits you.

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